Should we have a child?

Option 1: Create a child in the usual way.

Con: A very young person who accepts the responsibilities of raising a child is likely to miss certain opportunities afforded to others in his or her age group. Such responsibilities limit the time that can be spent in completing an education and preparing for a career. They can also limit the freedom to enjoy some recreational activities with peers.

Con: Starting at middle age, people begin to think about avoiding conception, because of the much greater difference in the ages of parent and child. An older person is likely to have less stamina to meet parental responsibilities. An older parent is not as likely to associate comfortably with or be accepted by the society of parents who have children of the same age. An elderly person is likely to die before the child reaches the age of independence.

Con: The cost of raising a child can make the decision to have one financially unwise. The child who suffers from prolonged poverty may acquire disadvantages that can never be overcome. The parent(s) burdened by responsibilities for a child may never get the freedom to improve their material condition.

Con: Some physical or mental problems impair the ability of a parent to raise child. Where sexual partners have any such problems, their use of contraception prevents an individual from being born into a situation that would limit its potential for development and cause it much suffering.

Con: When the partners have little motivation to raise a child, the use of contraception prevents the birth of a person who may run the risk of being, if not simply unwelcome, then even neglected or abused.

Reproductive technologies include IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization), ET (Embryo Transfer), GIFT (Gamete IntraFallopian Transfer), ZIFT (Zygote IntraFallopian Transfer), and harvesting sperm and eggs for donation.

Pro: Reproductive technologies offer those who have a physical impairment to procreation an opportunity to produce a child. Thus they give to those who deeply yearn for an offspring an opportunity for satisfaction of their desire.

Pro: Reproductive technologies give same-sex couples the opportunity to have a child.

Con: The use of reproductive technologies is very expensive, and the cost is rarely if ever paid by insurance companies. Moreover, these technologies do not guarantee success in producing a child, so repeated attempts, at additional cost, often have to be made. Thus, without substantial financial resources, the people who need and want to employ these methods cannot do so.

Pro: Adoption affords childless adults who are incapable of or who lack the desire for procreating their own child an opportunity to get one.

Pro: Adoption brings adults who are committed to nurturing a child into the life of a child who lacks committed parents.

Pro: Adoption gives prospective parents the chance to select a child with characteristics they want. In procreation, no such selection is possible.

Con: Adoption is not always easy. For those who are not the right age or who do not have adequate financial resources, it is likely to be impossible.

Con: The most popular candidates for adoption—the physically healthy children without emotional or mental handicaps—are often scarce.

Pro: Those who hire the surrogate can avoid the physical challenges and the disruptions in careers that result from pregnancy and childbirth.

Con: Finding a willing surrogate is likely to be very difficult. Some laws prohibit contracts for surrogate motherhood. Moreover, mothers have been known to renege on agreements to give up their offspring, once they are born. The difficulties in getting a surrogate to honor her agreement, once she has chosen not to do so, are enormous. The emotional toll on all involved can make the whole enterprise extremely unpalatable.